I want to highlight a stealth disease that's destroying millions of lives. It's contagious, and it’s toxic effects are spreading like the plague.
This disease is called Victimitus Infinitus (VI).
It's a silent happiness killer that moves so stealthily that sufferers don’t recognise its symptoms. It's a psychological and emotional disease that's wreaking havoc with our relationships and happiness.
The Victimitis Virus is a highly contagious virus: it can be spread easily from another to another and left undetected it diminishes self-trust, causing us to disconnect from who we really are.
How can you tell if your life is permeated with a victim mentality? This article will decisively answer that question.
As a bit of background, this builds on a blog post I wrote for Income Diary where I challenge the reader with the question, are you living by default or design?
As I explained in the article when any of the six default settings (Approval, Blame, Conformity, Doubts,...
“But I don’t know what I want!”
I’ve heard this so many times over the years of coaching people. It can be really daunting to be asked the simple question, “What do you want?”
As one lady said to me when I asked her that four-word question, “Colin, I know what my boss wants. I know what my husband wants. I know what my children want. But I haven’t got a clue what I want!!!”
You may relate?
We all go through this. Me included. I’ve hit this roadblock many times in my life and the accompanying feelings of confusion, frustration and loss of hope that go with it.
What I’m saying is, if your biggest roadblock is a lack of clarity, you’re not alone!
Many people are surprised to discover that becoming clear about what their right and perfect life is is not a one-time event. It’s a process. My experience is clarity comes in layers, few of us have an epiphany!
One of my guiding beliefs is that there is a part in...
Is your zest for life or passion for work diminishing? Do you feel there is something missing? Are you not sure what your purpose is?
Many people I coach feel stuck and dissatisfied. They know what they don’t want, but they are unsure as to what they do want. Some are paralysed as to what to do next.
What if there was a simple and fun way to navigate yourself to a purposeful life without knowing what your life purpose is? What if you had a way to move quickly to what you want? What if there is a way to bring more enjoyment and fun into your life starting today?
Well, I believe there is and we don’t need to KNOW what our purpose is but we are required to recognise and follow what brings us what I call “smile on!”
Let me explain with an analogy.
A few weeks ago Tor and I watched the movie Grand Torino starring Clint Eastwood. Clint plays Walt Kowalski, a grumpy, tough-minded, unhappy an old man, who can’t get along with either his kids or his Vietnamese...
Warning: The guide below has been written for humorous purposes only. Nobody — including the author of this blog, the unpredictable weather (like when you’re on holiday, and it’s hotter at home), the person who keeps altering your seat height at work, the driver who has blocked the pedestrian crossing, the traffic warden who gave you the parking ticket, the rude shop assistant, the train that you missed by a couple of seconds and the owner of the dog who didn’t pick up its poop — is conspiring to make you miserable.
Now, having sorted that out….
"I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it’s hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood."
– Larry David
Total misery is not an easy state to achieve, it takes focus, persistence and commitment but if you believe you have what it takes, this post can guide you along the path to true self-induced misery.
This blog post can help you no matter where you find yourself on the misery to...
In this post, I write about my top 10 lessons from taking the year-long sabbatical. I first published this post three years after returning from the sabbatical in 2005. I had planned on writing it earlier but never quite got around to it.
I actually think that’s a good thing I didn’t, after the three years passed, I had a better perspective on what the year out taught me. Some of these lessons were only revealed to me long after the year finished.
Where the story begins
Once in a while, you have to take a break and visit yourself.
In August 2004 aged forty-one I stepped away from the hustle and bustle of corporate life to take a year out with my wife Tor, and my two boys Sonnie (who was aged 6) and Herbie (who was aged 4).
We started planning our escape from the mad whirl of stress to live on a large piece of barren volcanic rock called Fuerteventura in 2003. We decided the La Isla Tranquila, or Peaceful Island, as it’s affectionately known by the...
Before you read this article I need to give you some background. This was written as part of a book I’m writing for my boys Sonnie and Herbie. They are now 17 and 19 but this article takes us back to when they were very young.
As a parent I decided to document all the lessons they both taught me about happiness, forgiveness, being in the now, my ego, my contradictions – to name a few!
I soon realised they were both sent to me to be the finest teachers on the planet. Both perfectly matched to give me the exact lessons I needed to live a more spiritual and loving existence.
I can honestly say I didn’t expect that when they were born.
Please comment if you enjoyed this article and if you would like to read more of my lessons. I didn’t really plan to share it publicly but I could be persuaded if you see it as valuable and helpful. I’m sure the boys (teachers) won’t mind either :))
(SONNIE IN THE THICK OF IT)
Down on my knees...
Each of us has our own set of core values that’s as unique as our thumbprint. These core values determine what’s really important to you as an individual.
The surprising thing is, that no matter where we are in life, if you ask most people what their core values are, many would not be able to give you an answer!
Understanding the Value of Values
Many of the people that come on the ‘Finding Your Smile’ retreat have issues where their values are at the heart of the problem. They come along because they are aware that something’s wrong or missing in their life, but they don’t know what.
Often it’s because they’re unclear on what their core values are and what’s most important to them. Our values help determine our tastes, way of life, entertainment, and social, political and religious interactions. We hold many values, each of which is liable to change as we grow and reach different stages of life.
Many people arrive at a...
Questions are powerful tools. When you change the questions you ask yourself, you change the direction of your life.
“If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.”
– ALBERT EINSTEIN
Remember, it’s not the events of your life that determine how you feel and act, it’s meaning you create from the experience.
Learning to ask empowering questions – especially when something bad happens – is a critical life skill that will ultimately shape the meanings you create and therefore the quality and direction of your life.
In today’s video I share three very powerful empowering questions that can ignite hope and lead to new insights especially in the dark moments of your life.
Speak your mind! Comments are welcome!